Downey's "Classics" Presents: This Poem Was Not Written By Gertrude Stein

Apparently, the best way for a writer to make a name for himself today is to do various writing jobs that doubles as an advertisement for his blog until he is ready to write a novel, which pays more than a job writing for a magazine. Sure, the writer could just skip a step and write the novel right away, but that shit is difficult, and without something resembling a cultivated audience, it would arrive in bookstores to general apathy. And that's even if it makes it into stores.

So, the writer of this now frequently updated blog is trying to stay in the swing of blogging. This requires putting up a post a day. Rather than write something off the top of his head, though, he is burning "back catalogue", or material he wrote for classes that would get underappreciated, because he is tired on this day. Below is a poem that was not written by Gertrude Stein. Enjoy.

"This Poem Was Not Written By Gertrude Stein"
by John Downey

The bard bard is only bard because he told bard stories that the king does not allow, as those stories are of the king doing bard activities like singing songs badly, and also bard activities, like killing people for no reason. The bard is only bard from the bar, though, as assassinations are bard. The bard now tells stories of how his liquid honesty got him bard from telling truthful stories, and how he must now spend his days telling untrue stories, like how good a singer the king is. The king doesn’t mind, since he is usually in the bar, laughing about how he bard the bard from the bar.