New Year, new blog.

Yeah, I had blogs going all over the place, so I might as well composite it down in one place. Or something. Downey Obscure Game Reports coming soon; until then, here's my most recent Facebook blog.

"You know, this is a time when I should look back on the past year, see what I did right, apologize to the people that I wrongly hurt, and then look forward to the New Year. But, uh, 2007 was possibly the best year of my entire life, which means that I don't exactly have a lot to regret. I took a couple of jobs, performed on stage multiple times, got a social life, returned to MCLA, and got good grades. I can only think of one huge mistake that I made this past year, and I already apologized for it.

I'm not looking forward to 2008, though. Why? Well, first of all, I'm almost certain that one of my step-relatives is going to die not long after the New Year comes. (And no, this isn't a "I have this feeling in my gut" kind of thing. This is a "They took her off of life support a couple of days ago and now we're waiting" kind of thing.) Also, with my oldest cousin graduating at the same time as the kids that were freshmen when I was a senior in high school, I'm really going to start feeling like an old man. Oh, and 2008 is an election year, and if the last two elections were any indication, our new president is going to kick off 2009 by stabbing somebody at the podium, raping their dying corpse, and then saying it was all okay, either because they were in favor of the war or because they were against the war (depending on which party wins). Did I mention that 2008 is also going to mark ten years since my dad died? Happy New Year indeed.

So, obviously, I'm turning a blind eye towards 2008. I won't have to worry about it for a little under 7 hours, anyway. So, instead, I'll just toss some thoughts out there for you to consider.

-Acting according to the wishes of spineless individuals can seem like a good idea at the time, but you'll be regretting it when your inbox gets flooded with hate mail.

-Women don't like it when you touch their toes.

-Remember the saying, "If it's free, I'm going to get my money's worth"? Yeah, that's been proven wrong.

-If their name is hard to spell or pronounce, there's a 90% chance that they are awesome.

-The phrase "child-bearing hips" is fucking hilarious and needs to be put into casual conversation as often as possible.

-If you didn't regularly watch Patriots games until they won the Super Bowl, but now consider yourself to be a big fan of them, CONGRATULATIONS, you're a douchebag. You're dumber than Yankees fans. You have less worth than Dolphins fans. Terrorists hate America because of people like you. Kill yourselves. (Note: the previous couple of statements should not be taken literally. Just know that you suck ass.)

-There's more than one way to spell "Jumanji".

With this, I now bravely, and with a heavy heart, lift up my Sprite and toast 2008, which, according to Chinese Astrology, is the Year of the Rat. Which means that Hilary Clinton is going to get elected. Fuck."