The Downey Obscure Game Report: Week One

It should be noted that saying that a video game rips off ideas from other forms of media--whether they be music, movies, novels, or other video games--is not necessarily a condemnation of said video game's quality. The "Halo" games, for example, contain elements from both "Ringworld" ("hey, look, it's a big ring, what the fuck does it do?") and "Ender's Game" ("Kill the bugs!"), but the "Halo" series has been universally acclaimed for its quality. Also, the game that many critics claimed was 2006's Game Of The Year, "Gears Of War", uses a cover mechanic that was previously used in a somewhat obscure PS2 game called "kill.switch", and yet "Gears Of War" was still praised for its innovative gameplay. In both of the previous examples, ideas that were taken from other forms of media were either approached from a new angle or improved upon so much that they might as well have come up with the idea in the first place. (Another example: the first Digimon games were virtual pets that improved on the Tamagotchi model and were released more than a year before the first Pokemon games came out, but who was the one that came out on top as the marketing juggernaut?)

Obviously, then, to say that a video game is a ripoff with negative connotations is when it's a video game that only exists because it's feeding off of a fad without adding any significant ideas to its chosen genre. This is where the inaugural DOGR comes in. It feeds off of the ninja fad of the early 90's while adding nothing for the action genre. It's not the worst game ever made (I've played MUCH worse), and in fact, this game can bring enjoyment to you, but there are some problems that I have with this game that could have been easily fixed.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you...
In case you can't read that font, it's "Wrath Of The Black Manta", created and published by Taito Corporation (now a part of Square Enix) in 1990. Taito's biggest contribution to the video game industry was the Lufia series of RPG's, which is a very hard series to hate and a very easy one to love. Outside of those games, though, Taito hasn't done much. "Wrath Of The Black Manta" is no "Lufia & the Fortress of Doom". It aspires to be a quick cash-in on the ninja craze at the time by doing what "Ninja Gaiden" did so well: great sidescrolling action with a decent storyline. I'll discuss the storyline first, since this shit gives me a headache.

Here's the setup that you get before the first stage begins:

Children have been disappearing in New York City. A few people believe that the kids are getting kidnapped, but the authorities are considering all possibilities. One day, though, Master (that's the only name that he's referred to as) found a note at the scene of one disappearance left for him by one of his students, Taro. The note says: "Please send help! We have been kidnapped and are being held near the waterfront." Master relays this message to a former student of his, the Black Manta, who vows to find Taro and bring his kidnappers to justice.

Putting any degree of critical thought into the previous paragraph reveals all sorts of plot holes. Why don't the authorities believe that the kids are being kidnapped? How could Taro write that note and place it in a spot where his teacher could find it? Why didn't Master give the note to the FBI? And why is the Black Manta wearing purple?

I should note that the rest of this plot description contains spoilers (and is completely stupid), so if you don't want this game spoiled, tough shit.

After interrogating certain underlings, some of whom don't even know the name of the organization that they're working for (this is entirely optional, by the way), the Black Manta learns that the kidnappers are actually a large, worldwide criminal organization called D.R.A.T. (there is no explanation as to what it stands for). D.R.A.T. has been kidnapping children with the intention of brainwashing them to become drug addicts and dealers. Through these brainwashed children, they hope to gain enough money and power to take over the world.

Critical thoughts: Why would the grunts agree to work for an organization that refuses to even tell them their name? How did D.R.A.T. become as powerful and expansive as it is if all it does is evil and illegal activities? Why spend the time and resources to kidnap and brainwash children when (a) all of their faces are on milk cartons by the time the brainwashing process is completed and (b) when dealing drugs is not the most reliable way of making money? Why not brainwash the children to become soldiers for your cause, instead? And furthermore, is global domination D.R.A.T.'s only cause? And seeing how the world has turned out, wouldn't a world where marijuana is legalized be considered a good thing?

The game answers that last question by saying "Don't do drugs," which has been proven to be too commanding a phrase and too single-minded to actually keep kids from doing drugs. Still, though, every time the Black Manta frees a child, he reminds them to don't do drugs. Welcome to the 90's.

I've gone through 8 paragraphs without even touching on how this game plays. Alright, here goes. It plays almost exactly as you would think an action game on the NES should play: press A to jump, press B to either slash your sword or throw a ninja star, hold down and release B to use a special ninja ability (throw a flame, become invisible, project a duplicate of yourself, etc.). There are a few awkward flying portions that play like R-Type gone stupid, and the last level contains some first-person shooting elements, but for the most part, this is "Ninja Gaiden", with an even worse storyline. You can have a maximum of 8 hit points, though you start with 3.

So, by this time, you get the idea behind the game. It's stupid, but in a funny way. There are no bugs or glitches of any kind, and getting to the first boss can easily be done without losing a life. The only problems you'll likely encounter are trying to get into hidden rooms, which are activated by throwing a ninja star at a wall while standing in the right spot (this part is much more difficult and imprecise than it should be). So what's the big deal? Why am I revisiting a 17-year-old game? What drew me to WOTBM?

Imagine that you're 4 years old. You're playing this silly ninja game, having fun, kicking ass, and laughing your butt off when you hear that the first boss is named "Tiny". Going into the battle, you think to yourself, "How hard can this be?"

And then...

Up until this point, WOTBM has been populated with silly looking characters and ridiculous dialog. Then you run into an ugly, muscular, tattooed guy the size of a building.

When Tiny jumps, a brick falls right on the spot where the Black Manta is standing; therefore, you must keep moving. Tiny jumps from right to left, and back again, meaning that there will be parts where you can barely move at all. The only way to hurt Tiny is to throw a ninja star at his head. The longest amount of time that Tiny spends on the ground, though, is approx. one second. The shortest amount of time you'll have is about half a second. If Tiny is in the air when you throw a star at him, you won't hit his head, and therefore, won't hurt him. In order to jump high enough to hit Tiny's head, you must jump as high as you can, which means holding down the A button and hitting B at the height of your jump. Tiny has 8 life points, but it takes 3 hits to remove one of his life points, effectively meaning that you'll have to hit Tiny 24 times in order to beat him. If you touch a brick or Tiny, you'll lose one point from your life bar, and remember, the most life points you can have is 8. If you die, though, you'll lose a life and go back to 3 life points, while Tiny's health is completely regenerated.

This is the hardest first boss I have ever seen. And remember, this game was made for kids.

Giving Taito the benefit of the doubt, "Wrath Of The Black Manta" has its heart in all the right places. Good intentions, though, don't make good video games. While the game screams at you to stay away from drugs, everyone who had something to do with this game, from the level designers to the graphics illustrators to the translators to the people who made the sound for the game (this game plays so much better when you mute it), seems to have been on drugs. While I wouldn't search for it on eBay, though, I can honestly say that if you can find this at a flea store, it's worth taking a look at, if only for a laugh.

So, that was this week's column. Next week, I'll take a look at one of the best licensed video games I've ever played. This, despite featuring "item-collecting" aspects that have been pointed at as hurting the genre. Oh, and despite the license being a comic strip from the early 1900's. And despite this being an NES game. If I said anymore, I'd be giving it away. Good luck on finals, everyone.

(originally posted December 13th.)