Apparently, the best way for a writer to make a name for himself today is to do various writing jobs that doubles as an advertisement for his blog until he is ready to write a novel, which pays more than a job writing for a magazine. Sure, the writer could just skip a step and write the novel right away, but that shit is difficult, and without something resembling a cultivated audience, it would arrive in bookstores to general apathy. And that's even if it makes it into stores.
So, the writer of this now frequently updated blog is trying to stay in the swing of blogging. This requires putting up a post a day. Rather than write something off the top of his head, though, he is burning "back catalogue", or material he wrote for classes that would get underappreciated, because he is tired on this day. Below is possibly the strangest story he's ever told--and that covers a lot of ground. Enjoy, if you can.
"Snow White"
by John Downey
Robbie looked it over. She looked nice. Her body hadn’t really started to deteriorate yet, though the makeup had already worn off.
“Well?” said the dwarf.
Robbie thought it over. She was beautiful; why were they selling her so cheap? He inquired about that.
“She didn’t pay rent. Bitch forced herself on us. A few of us starved; that’s how we lost Hokey, Pacey, and Sparticus.”
She wasn’t well loved. She wasn’t considerate towards other people’s feelings. She wouldn’t be missed, in short. She did look nice, though, and Robbie couldn’t afford to be picky with his fetishes.
“300, then?” he asked.
“750. We still need to fix the door frames that she smashed with her huge ass.”
Robbie didn’t think that she had a huge ass. He thought her ass was perfect. Maybe not 750 perfect, but close enough. He paid Grumpy his asking price.
“Just make sure that you do your business with the drapes down,” was Grumpy’s parting words as Robbie carted her away.
The moral of the story:
If you don’t want to be taken advantage of by a necrophiliac, treat dwarves the same way you want to be treated.
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