Downey's "Classics" Presents: INTENSELY PERSONAL BLOG!

Apparently, the best way for a writer to make a name for himself today is to do various writing jobs that doubles as an advertisement for his blog until he is ready to write a novel, which pays more than a job writing for a magazine. Sure, the writer could just skip a step and write the novel right away, but that shit is difficult, and without something resembling a cultivated audience, it would arrive in bookstores to general apathy. And that's even if it makes it into stores.

So, the writer of this now frequently updated blog is trying to stay in the swing of blogging. This requires putting up a post a day. Rather than write something off the top of his head, though, he is burning "back catalogue", or material he wrote for classes that would get underappreciated, because he is tired on this day. Below is the last blog post on his MySpace "blog", written over a year ago. Enjoy.

"...INTENSELY PERSONAL BLOG!"
by John Downey

Note: all details that could end up biting me on the ass have been removed. Names have been replaced with letters of the alphabet for clarity.

So I met a ____ named (A) at the _________ of the ______ ____, and I knew right away that I _____ ___. My thinking on these matters, though, is that they usually do not work out in my favor, so I tried to put it out of my mind. But (A) kept _______ __ all over the place! I did _____ and (A) was _____, I did _______ and (A) was ______, heck, I even did _____ and (A) was _____! And I never do _____, so that's pretty big for me. Anywho, (A) gets a ______ named (B), who was a mix between a _____ and a ______ (no, not the little dudes you stomp on in Mario games). Whatever. People make mistakes, right? (See plenty of my other blogs for examples.) Thing is, though, (B) ____ her _____ by ________ on ___, and then _______ ___, which is the shittiest fucking thing in the history of everything. Worse than dead puppies. This _______ (A) for a ____, but (A) seems more ___________ in what I ____ to ___. She even ______ to ______ ________. Thumbs up, right? Well, I _____ (A) to __ ____ me __ ___ _____ _______ ______, and she ____ _ ____ ______ ____ ____________ _____ __, which is more than she gave one dude, but a __ is still a __. But then I was ____ that ______ ___ ____ __ ___ _____, since ___ __ was _____ to __ _____! Which leaves me...where? I'm not in hell, but it's hell getting to heaven from this point.

So, yeah, what should I do?