Apparently, the best way for a writer to make a name for himself today is to do various writing jobs that doubles as an advertisement for his blog until he is ready to write a novel, which pays more than a job writing for a magazine. Sure, the writer could just skip a step and write the novel right away, but that shit is difficult, and without something resembling a cultivated audience, it would arrive in bookstores to general apathy. And that's even if it makes it into stores.
So, the writer of this now frequently updated blog is trying to stay in the swing of blogging. This requires putting up a post a day. Rather than write something off the top of his head, though, he is burning "back catalogue", or material he wrote for classes that would get underappreciated, because he is tired on this day. Below is an essay he wrote for a class. Enjoy.
"I Laugh At Innocence"
by John Downey
The popular view towards youth bases its conceptions around babies and teenagers—babies being innocent, teenagers being wild creatures to be tamed/allowed to express themselves/jailed/feared. The idea of what a child is should, in theory, be somewhere in between, moving away from innocence but not quite a hellraiser. All it takes to destroy that theory is to spend time around actual children, at which point one has to accept that children are much more complex than we would like to give them credit for. Or go insane. Either option works, really.
Children listen to the Jonas Brothers, play Pokemon video games, and watch “CSI”. On one side of the classroom, kids are talking about the Hannah Montana repeat from the other night; on the other side, their classmates are talking about what Triple H did to John Cena. They all play together, despite their differing tastes that have already started to develop. There is no pattern for estimating their tastes. Two sci-fi based CGI-animated films aimed towards children were recently released: “Monsters vs. Aliens” and “Battle For Terra”. Both received similar critical praise, and they were released within a month of each other. “Monsters vs. Aliens” debuted #1 at the box office, and is the 3rd highest-grossing IMAX movie of all time, behind “The Dark Knight” and “Watchmen”. Meanwhile, “Battle For Terra” debuted at #12, having the 3rd lowest opening for a CGI movie in wide release. It is those kind of numbers that make movie executives go to church.
Some children I worked with were asked to draw pictures that reminded them of their loved ones. One girl drew an assortment of items related to her grandfather, including a few items of clothing, his appearance, and other expected elements. There was one thing that she drew, though, that I honestly couldn’t figure out. I had my mental guesses, of course (calendar? library card? trivia pursuit card?), but eventually, I just asked her to identify this object.
“SCRATCH TICKETS!” she answered.
One boy in the same classroom drew typical manly items in relation to his brother, such as knives, guns, and dead people. (This might make one think that he has a violent brother, but his future illustrations offered casual death wishes to such offenders as sheep and the sun.) The teacher was able to censor these images in their infancy, but when it came time to draw these collaborations on a large poster, this boy immediately drew a large handgun.
“Were you allowed to draw that two minutes ago?” the teacher asked.
“It’s a water gun,” he answered. He proceeded to add water squirting out of the end of what is perhaps the scariest squirt gun known to mankind.
Yet another girl was attempting to think of details concerning a neighbor’s dog, who she had often played with. The teacher tried to help. “When was the last time you saw it?”
“I dunno. It was a couple of months ago.”
“What does it look like?”
“It was a puppy, but it might’ve grown up.”
“Well, maybe you should start focusing on something else.”
The girl’s jaw hit the ground. How dare this teacher tell her that she should change subjects!
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