Apparently, the best way for a writer to make a name for himself today is to do various writing jobs that doubles as an advertisement for his blog until he is ready to write a novel, which pays more than a job writing for a magazine. Sure, the writer could just skip a step and write the novel right away, but that shit is difficult, and without something resembling a cultivated audience, it would arrive in bookstores to general apathy. And that's even if it makes it into stores.
So, the writer of this now frequently updated blog is trying to stay in the swing of blogging. This requires putting up a post a day. Rather than write something off the top of his head, though, he is burning "back catalogue", or material he wrote for classes that would get underappreciated, because he is tired on this day. Below is something I posted on a forum dedicated to a hip-hop video game. It was supposed to be stupid. Enjoy.
"Can I Ghostwrite For Killer Cam?"
by John Downey
See for yourself. WARNING: THE FOLLOWING MAY BE HARMFUL TO PEOPLE WITH WORKING BRAINS.
"Tying my shoes takes a lot of effort
Go to Sesame Street and go get Big Bird
To tie my shoes for me cuz I'm all over the streets
Like Tim O'Brien, Orson Scott Card and W.B. Yeats
Ain't no other rapper with a flow like mine
They try but I get 'em with a knife made out of pine
Cones, they're nature's gift to us
I get told to shut up at town meetings cuz I ain't allow to cuss
I wake up to the sound of Regis and Kelly
All my enemies are like my dinner: they're in my belly
Cuz I'm a cannibal whenever the hecks I feel like it
I always cry whenever I watch Emma Thompson in "Wit"
For April Fool's Day I wear Barney underwear
And run through across town so that I can wrestle a bear
And that's life on the streets through the eyes of me
I see as far as I can see
The streets...DIPSET!"
...I am SO sorry.
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